Anyways. I changed my blog's title from "Happenings of a Student Nurse" to what it is now because, obviously, I'm no longer a student. I graduated in 2008 and have been working in an urban ER department mostly. Just recently I finished a stint of rural ER/medical/clinic work up in northern Alberta. That was an interesting experience to say the least. The stuff I witnessed and even a part of was at times hard to believe, and at other times hilarious. A lot of things are different. I won't get into that this post because I think it would take me several weeks to describe the happenings of a place like that and my experience.
As of right now I am a student once more. Instead of a Student Nurse I am a student that is a nurse. I am in Toronto Ontario living on the U of T campus (so beautiful!). Presently I am procrastinating from my reading. I was actually on google about to look at news when I stumbled across my old blog and decided to write a quick update. I am here in Toronto to study for and write the MCAT. I went into nursing with the notion of using it as a stepping stone to something else one day. I was initially interested in Dentristry...but that is very hard to get into and VERY expensive so I also looked at medicine but my marks in my first few years of general studies at university were not up to snuff to consider either. But I could get into nursing. I talked to a few of my mother's friends who are nurses and decided I had the right character to do well within the field. I don't mind blood and guts at all, but the idea of having to wipe other peoples bottoms didn't exactly excite me. But it was somewhere to start.
And now, here I am. I have become an RN with a specialization in ER. I knew the time was coming soon where I was ready to move on from nursing as I was no longer enjoying my job. ER is a very difficult place to perform nursing care. I enjoy that aspect of nursing very much - connecting with my patients and making them feel safe and well cared for during their time of vulnerability as they lay sick in the ER at the mercy of their care givers. I have worked mostly in the acute side of the ER since completing my ER training and it is an extremely busy place. You get the sickest people (with exception of the sickest of sick or trauma patients who would go then to the trauma rooms) who require close monitoring and efficient care to ensure best possible outcomes. But when you have 4-5 of these patients all under the care of a single RN the "nursing" side of nursing becomes extremely difficult. I'm no longer making a difference for these people with the care that I provide, I'm just simply providing them with the drugs and fluids to get them better, and the "care" is left out because I must move onto the next task for the next patient. I desperately want to spend more time with my patients and ensure they understand what is happening to them with regards to both their presenting complaint and their treatment. People feel better about their condition when they know why they feel the way they feel and what we as health care providers are going to do to help them. It's so simple but so many doctors and nurses glaze over details and don't provide sick people in ER's with the answers and solutions they need in order to feel less vulnerable and scared. When I say "sick" people I'm talking about the people that are very sick and being treated and tested aggressively...not the person waiting for a perscription refill or the person with a cough and sore throat. These people choose to come to the ER whereas the "sick" people have no choice but to come to the ER. Access to health care is getting poorer and poorer as there are more and more people in large urban centres and not enough GP's to care for the walk-in type of things and chronic illnesses. I don't get mad at people coming to the ER for minor things, but I do get annoyed when people become belligerent and cause disruptions because they don't understand why wait times are so great. Not only are there more and more minor cases visiting the ER but also more and more "sick" people as well. A lot of the "acute" beds in urban ER's have admitted patients waiting for a bed somewhere else, be it a medical floor, a cardiac floor or even ICU. The hospital is full of sick people already and doctors can't discharge patients fast enough to free beds up for the new people coming in...so grannies are stuck on extremely uncomfortable stretchers or even chairs for hours if not days while waiting for beds on the other floors. Makes me sick to see geriatric people suffer in a chair in an extremely busy department.
Sorry. That little rant was quickly becoming an essay. There are many flaws within the system and many needs. It's easy to point them out but extremely difficult to find solutions. Not enough care homes. Not enough nurses. Not enough access to care. Not enough funding. Not enough paramedics. So many shortages in all areas it will take a lifetime to surmount the shortfalls of an outdated system. People will die in hall ways. Grandma's and Grandpa's will suffer as they have to sit in chairs until they can be properly cared for. Even then they may only get a stretcher which isn't a huge step up from the chairs. Medications will be missed. People will sit in their own excrement for hours and hours. People will not get the pain medication they so desperately need in a timely manner because nurses are burnt out and still dealing with burdens that are a result of this broken system (I'm refering to high patient workloads, no breaks, and very little support).
So what can I do? Well, first of all, take a break from nursing for a while. I'm in Toronto for nearly 4 months and I will not be working at all. I will be focussing my efforts to finally being able to live a healthy life style (diet and exercise go out the window when you work shift work) and on my studies. After this I will be doing one more contract before returning full time to undergrad studies. Working up north is no where near as stressful as an urban centre. Also make a lot more money. I will be returning to university to complete med school pre-requisite courses and also help boost my anaemic GPA. What can I accomplish in pursuing medicine? I'm not sure but I'm glad to leave nursing. I see it as an opportunity to acquire more knowledge, gain more experience, and see where it takes me. I want to make an impact and I want to impact not just the people I care for but be a voice for change. Be a future leader for health care. Learn from my frustrations and build a foundation for change. Maybe I will find something within nursing along the way or maybe I will become political, or maybe I will become a doctor. No matter where this journey takes me I want to bring the care back into healthcare. That sounds soooo cheesy, I know. I think there are a lot of people working within healthcare that feel the same way though. Instead of being stuck in the trenches I'm stepping out and moving on. I told myself I'd pay off my student debt before I made this move, but with six figures at graduation that is going to take FOREVER working as an RN to accomplish. So screw it. I'm opening yet another line of credit and jumping with both feet into something I know not of where I'll land. I'll be more in the hole, but only financially. Nothing can be lost by gaining more knowledge in pursuing medicine especially with my conviction and background. Sorry...more cheese. But I'm excited to see where this journey takes me!
